On writing

my website is so empty and i need to fill it with words and images.. so i think i will just journal a little bit :)

shavua tov! i went to my second ever torah service at my shul and well. for some reason i thought the familiarity would make it easier than the first time; at least it wouldn't be my first rodeo. turns out your second rodeo is a lot harder, mostly because you feel responsible to have learned quite a bit from your first. this is also my second blog post, and unfortunately since i am surrounded on all sides by friends who are such talented writers, the bar to compare myself to is really very high.

the point of writing i guess is that even though others may be more eloquent and formal than me, i still have thoughts and concepts that live only in my brain and they deserve to be let out even if they're silly! i plan on digging through some of my old journals on apple notes and obsidian and posting some highlights here :] another thing is that while i so badly would like to swap my brain over to capitalizing my text especially when writing essays. to this day i am a lowercase only bitch and it's funny to se my very internet chatroom written english appears in the beautiful old style EB Garamond...

one of the things that impairs my willingness to just sit down and write is my brain which constantly moving at a thousand miles a minute (my roommate calls this "undiagnosed adhd" and implores me to "get it looked at". whatever that means.) caffiene greatly improves my ability to focus on tasks, which is great as a prep cook! a monster in the morning means i can peel and oblique 20 pounds of carrots in only half an hour (having fun!) instead of an hour (fighting for my life). while it does bring my body up to speed with my mind, it makes me far too jittery to be able to be effectively introspective or meditative on anything. i wonder if, assuming i get diagnosed and prescribed adhd medication, they can give me something that strikes a middle ground..

anyways i have work tomorrow and im so so sleepy. goodnight my lovely readers